I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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