I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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