All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
