ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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