brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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