he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I forget how to act sober
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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