You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
