If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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