I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
