I just threw up on my dentist
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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