god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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