Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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