I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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