I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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