then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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