just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
