I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
