i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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