Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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