Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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