halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
