People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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