oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
