just tell him i said nine months
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
