According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
