I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's blow job season.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
