I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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