youre lurking in front of me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
