But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
