I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
from now on my penis is your penis
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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