In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
