I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
