i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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