So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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