is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
