come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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