There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
