I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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