If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
