your thong is hanging out like whoa
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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