My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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