So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
