drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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