idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
