The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
