It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
