I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
