Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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