so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This toilet bowl is my home.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
