I hate your face
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
