Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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