i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
