what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
