Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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