I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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