found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
