i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
