I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
