I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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