Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
