he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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