I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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